Ladies and gentlemen of the illustrious career transition brigade, gather ‘round. Let us speak of a topic so sacred, so divine, that the mere mention of it sends shivers down the spines of job seekers everywhere: networking. Yes, that dreaded word. The one that makes you suddenly remember you need to alphabetize your spice rack or reorganize your sock drawer. But fear not, for I am here to enlighten, entertain, and perhaps gently mock you into embracing this oh-so-necessary evil.

First, let’s address the elephant in the room. You hate networking. I know it. You know it. The barista who watches you nervously sip your overpriced latte at a "networking event" knows it. You loathe the awkward introductions, the forced smiles, and the inevitable moment when someone asks, "So, what do you do?" and you’re forced to sheepishly mutter, "I’m in transition." Translation: "I’m unemployed, but please don’t look at me like I’m contagious."

But here’s the cold, hard truth: Networking is not optional. It is the lifeblood of career transition. It is the sacred ritual through which opportunities are born, deals are made, and LinkedIn connections flourish like wildflowers in spring. And yet, many of you approach it with all the enthusiasm of a teenager cleaning their room.

Let’s examine the excuses, shall we?

Excuse #1: "I’m an introvert." Ah, yes. The trusty introvert card. A classic. But here’s a fun fact: Introverts can be excellent networkers. Why? Because you’re great listeners. While the extroverts are busy regaling everyone with tales of their glory days, you’re quietly absorbing valuable information. So, stop hiding behind your personality type and start leveraging it. Ask thoughtful questions. Make meaningful connections. And if all else fails, just nod sagely and say, "Fascinating," at random intervals. Works like a charm.

Excuse #2: "I don’t know anyone." Really? No one? Not a single soul? Are you a hermit who’s been living in a cave for the past decade? Of course, you know people. Friends, family, former colleagues, that guy you met at the grocery store who gave you a great tip about avocados—they’re all part of your network. And if your current circle feels too small, guess what? You can expand it. That’s right, folks. Networking is like planting a garden. The more seeds you sow, the more connections you’ll grow. (Apologies for the cheesy metaphor, but it’s true.)

Excuse #3: "I don’t have time." Ah, the irony. You’re in career transition, presumably with an abundance of free time, yet you can’t spare a few hours a week to network? What are you doing instead? Binge-watching cat videos on YouTube? Perfecting your sourdough bread recipe? Priorities, people! Networking should be at the top of your to-do list, right alongside "update resume" and "avoid spiraling into existential despair."

Now that we’ve debunked your excuses, let’s talk strategy. Because wandering aimlessly into a networking event without a plan is like showing up to a marathon in flip-flops. It’s not going to end well.

Step 1: Define Your Goal Networking isn’t about collecting business cards like a kid hoarding Pokémon cards. It’s about building genuine relationships. So, what’s your goal? Are you looking for a job? Seeking mentorship? Hoping to infiltrate the secret society of mid to senior professionals who always seem to land the best gigs? Whatever it is, be clear about it. Clarity is power.

Step 2: Do Your Homework Before you attend an event or reach out to someone, do a little research. Check out their LinkedIn profile, read their blog, or Google their name. Knowledge is power, and nothing impresses a potential connection more than knowing something about them. Just don’t be creepy about it. No one wants to hear, "I noticed you have a golden retriever named Max and love pina coladas." Save that for your Tinder profile.

Step 3: Perfect Your Elevator Pitch Let’s face it: People have short attention spans. You’ve got about 30 seconds to make an impression before their eyes glaze over and they start thinking about lunch. So, craft a pitch that’s concise, compelling, and free of corporate jargon. Practice it in front of a mirror, your dog, or that poor barista we mentioned earlier. By the time you’re done, you should be able to deliver it in your sleep.

Step 4: Follow Up This is where many of you drop the ball. You meet someone, have a great conversation, exchange contact information, and then...nothing. No email. No LinkedIn connection request. Nada. It’s like going on a first date and never calling them again. Rude! Following up is crucial. It’s how you turn a fleeting encounter into a lasting connection. So, send that email. Write that thank-you note. Show them you’re not just another face in the crowd.

Of course, networking isn’t just about events and emails. It’s also about mindset. You see, many of you approach networking with a transactional mindset. You’re focused on what you can get, rather than what you can give. But here’s the secret sauce: The best networkers are givers, not takers. They’re the ones who offer help, share resources, and make introductions without expecting anything in return. And guess what? That generosity often comes back to them tenfold. Karma, baby.

Now, let’s address the elephant’s cousin in the room: rejection. Yes, rejection is part of networking. You’ll reach out to people who won’t respond. You’ll attend events where no one seems interested in talking to you. You might even experience the soul-crushing indignity of being ghosted on LinkedIn. But here’s the thing: It’s not personal. People are busy. They have their own lives, their own priorities. So, don’t take it to heart. Brush it off, move on, and keep going. Persistence pays off.

And finally, let’s talk about the ROI of networking. Some of you are probably thinking, "Is all this effort really worth it?" Let me answer that with a resounding YES. Networking is how you discover hidden opportunities, gain valuable insights, and build a support system that will sustain you throughout your career. It’s how you turn strangers into allies, acquaintances into advocates, and LinkedIn connections into actual human beings.

So, my dear job seekers, the next time you’re tempted to skip that networking event or ignore that LinkedIn message, remember this rant. Remember that networking is not a chore; it’s an investment in your future. And who knows? That awkward conversation you’re dreading might just lead to your next big opportunity. Or at the very least, a free coffee. Either way, it’s worth it.

Now go forth and network like the fabulous, capable, and slightly terrified professionals you are. You’ve got this!

Curt Skene
FOUNDER
Career Network Club