As a mid to senior business professional, the landscape of my career has always been about connections, collaborations, and networking. Yet, in the aftermath of losing my job, the very thought of networking fills me with dread. It's perplexing—shouldn’t I be eager to reach out and forge new relationships to land my next opportunity? The reality, however, is that networking often feels more like an obligation than an opportunity. Here’s why I struggle with it and why many others might feel the same way.

1. Fear of Rejection

One of the most significant barriers to networking is the fear of rejection. After losing my job, I became acutely aware of my vulnerability. Approaching someone for help or advice feels like putting myself on the line for potential rejection. What if they don’t respond? What if they don’t want to help? This fear can be paralyzing, making it easier to avoid networking altogether than to risk the sting of rejection.

2. Imposter Syndrome

In the wake of job loss, feelings of inadequacy often bubble to the surface. I find myself questioning my qualifications and worth. Imposter syndrome—the belief that I’m a fraud and that I don’t deserve my achievements—can make networking feel insurmountable. How can I reach out to others, share my story, and seek support when I doubt my abilities? This self-doubt leads to avoidance, which only deepens the cycle of isolation.

3. The Pressure to Be Perfect

Networking can feel like a performance. When I meet new people, there’s often an unspoken expectation to present myself in the best light possible. I’m expected to have my elevator pitch down, articulate my accomplishments, and appear confident. This pressure can be overwhelming, especially when I’m still processing my job loss. Instead of being an authentic exchange, networking often feels like a scripted performance, draining my energy and enthusiasm.

4. The Time Commitment

In today’s fast-paced world, finding time to network can seem like an added burden. Juggling the job search, family responsibilities, and self-care leaves little room for networking. I often think about how many hours I’d have to invest in building and nurturing connections and whether it’s worth the time. This mindset can lead to procrastination, further delaying my networking efforts and creating a cycle of guilt and frustration.

5. Previous Negative Experiences

Many of us have had experiences where networking didn’t yield the desired results. Perhaps I’ve reached out to someone, only to receive a lukewarm response or no response at all. These experiences can taint my view of networking, making it feel futile. When past efforts feel disappointing, it’s easy to assume that future networking will lead to the same dead ends, which can discourage further attempts.

6. Lack of Clear Goals

When I think about networking, I often feel lost regarding what I hope to achieve. Am I seeking advice, job leads, or mentorship? Without clear goals, networking feels aimless, leading to frustration. This lack of direction can make me hesitant to reach out to others, as I’m unsure of how to frame my requests or what I can offer in return.

7. Overwhelm from Online Platforms

In today’s digital age, networking has evolved to include various online platforms. While this presents opportunities to connect with a broader audience, it can also feel overwhelming. I’m bombarded with notifications, messages, and invitations from professional networking sites, leaving me feeling lost in a sea of connections. The sheer volume of information and interactions can lead to decision fatigue, causing me to retreat rather than engage.

8. Shifting Perspectives on Networking

Traditionally, networking has been viewed as a transactional process—an exchange of favors, connections, and opportunities. This mindset can contribute to my aversion to networking; it feels insincere and transactional. I often long for more meaningful interactions based on genuine relationships rather than strategic networking. However, shifting my perspective to view networking as a chance to build authentic connections can help alleviate some of this discomfort.

9. The Need for Authenticity

When I think about networking, I crave authenticity. I want to engage with people on a personal level rather than just exchanging business cards or LinkedIn connections. However, the fear of putting myself out there and being vulnerable can hinder my ability to create those authentic connections. I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to share my struggles and fears, as these moments of honesty can foster deeper relationships.

10. The Opportunity for Growth

Despite my aversion to networking, I’ve started to recognize it as an opportunity for growth. While it’s daunting, networking can provide valuable insights, mentorship, and potential job leads. It’s a chance to learn from others’ experiences, gather advice, and discover new perspectives. Embracing this mindset shift can help me view networking as a beneficial endeavor rather than a chore.

11. Taking Small Steps

As I navigate my feelings about networking, I’m learning the importance of taking small steps. Instead of diving headfirst into large networking events, I can start by reaching out to a few trusted contacts for coffee or virtual chats. Building relationships gradually can make the process feel more manageable and less overwhelming. Small wins can also boost my confidence and encourage me to engage more.

12. Finding a Supportive Community

One of the most effective ways to ease my discomfort with networking is to seek out a supportive community. Connecting with fellow job seekers who share similar struggles can create a sense of camaraderie. Together, we can share resources, provide encouragement, and practice networking skills in a safe environment. This sense of community can transform networking from a solitary endeavor into a collaborative experience.

Conclusion

While the thought of networking can be intimidating, especially after experiencing job loss, it’s essential to recognize that these feelings are valid. By addressing my fears, shifting my perspective, and taking small steps, I can gradually overcome my aversion to networking. It’s a journey of growth and self-discovery, one that ultimately leads to building meaningful connections that can support me in my career.

In the end, networking isn’t just about landing the next job; it’s about cultivating relationships, learning from others, and sharing our stories. By reframing networking as an opportunity rather than an obligation, I can embrace it as a valuable tool in my career journey.

Curt Skene
FOUNDER
Career Network Club