In the tale of Pinocchio, a little puppet gets his dream: he loses the strings that had been used to manipulate his life and gets the opportunity to be a genuine, independent young boy. But what Pinocchio didn't understand was that this likewise implied handling all the threats of real life, as well as the painful lessons to be learned through honesty, friendly relationships, and family

Classic tales like Pinocchio, along with several other popular myths, fairy tales, and religious parables, all show the task of discovering meaning in life as a balancing act between order and turmoil, the familiar and the exotic, or security and risky venture.

Individuals continue handing down and going over historical texts, together with the works of philosophers such as Socrates and Aristotle, because we desire universal values and guidelines to give our lives meaning. And these are the themes that author Jordan B. Peterson has taken into account when making a new list of 12 such values to assist contemporary people through today's disorderly times.

In this post, you'll find

what lobsters can inform us regarding self-confidence;

what a lotus flower can show us about seeking meaning in life; and

what young skateboarders can tell us about human nature.

Idea 1

Hierarchies are a common facet of life in civilizations around the world, so offer yourself a benefit with good posture.

You've probably heard of the expression, "the pecking order," right? However, do you have knowledge of where it originated?

It originates from the Norwegian zoologist Thorleif Schjelderup-Ebbe, who was studying barnyard chickens in the 1920s when he discovered that there was a clear hierarchy amongst these birds. At the top were the healthiest, strongest ones that always got to peck first when the chicken feed came. At the bottom were the weakest chickens, with their feathers falling out, who only got to peck at the leftover crumbs.

Pecking orders like this aren't limited to chickens; they manifest naturally throughout the animal kingdom.

Lobsters, for instance, whether they're in the ocean or raised in captivity, will aggressively battle over the finest and most protected areas for shelter.

Scientists have actually found that these competitive conflicts will cause the winners and losers to have different chemical balances in their brains. Winners will have a greater ratio of the hormonal agent serotonin to octopamine, while the ratio in losers will tilt in the opposite direction.

These levels can even impact the posture of lobsters: more serotonin will result in the winners being more agile and upright, and more octopamine makes losers tense and curled up. This difference will factor into more conflicts, as the upright lobsters will appear bigger and more intimidating, triggering the tense ones to remain submissive.

As you may have guessed, comparable hierarchies and cycles of winning and losing play out among human beings.

Studies have actually shown that those in the grips of alcohol addiction or depression are less likely to enter a competitive scenario, which only bolsters more inertness and continued low self-esteem and depression.

Conversely, those on a winning streak typically present bravado and confident mannerisms, which can assist them to keep their streak alive. Similar to lobsters, human beings are constantly evaluating themselves against each other, and we associate a person's intelligence with their physicality.

So if you're attempting to give yourself an advantage, follow the first guideline: hold your head high and strike the posture of a champion.

Idea 2

Care for yourself with the exact same tenderness you would a loved one.

If your pet dog was sick and the veterinarian recommended medication, you would not second-guess the doctor and leave the prescription unfilled would you? And yet, one-third of people ignore the medical prescriptions they're given by doctors, which begs the question: why do we take much better care of our beloved pets than ourselves?

Part of the reason is that, because we're always mindful of our own defects, we feel self-loathing, which, in turn, can lead to unneeded self-punishment and a sense that we're not worthy of feeling fantastic. Hence, we take better care of other people than ourselves.

This belief that we're unworthy goes at least as distant as the story of Adam and Eve being banished from the Garden of Eden. In this Christian story, Adam and Eve represent all humans, and they're deceived into eating the forbidden fruit of knowledge by a malicious serpent. By following the guidance of the snake, human beings are viewed as being permanently corrupted with wickedness.

While the story of the Garden of Eden makes us self-conscious about this pessimism within ourselves and can enhance the sense that we do not merit blessings, it can also be read another way: it's not just us, but the entire world that is corrupted. The people and the snake of the garden can be viewed as the whole world's natural mix of order and chaos.

This duality of nature can also be seen in Eastern philosophy also, and represented in the 2 sides of the Yin-Yang sign: there's a light and a dark side, yet both sides hold a portion of the other within them, and neither can exist without the other.

In this situation, harmony is attained by discovering a healthy balance between light and dark, and one should strive not to go too far in either direction.

For example, if a father and mother were to try and secure their kid from being exposed to anything "bad," they would only be switching out that chaos with the tyranny of too much order. To put it simply, it's useless to try to be completely good.

This leads us to the 2nd rule: look after yourself like you would a loved one.

So, look after yourself, however, do not battle against chaos, as this is an unwinnable battle. And instead of just doing what makes you delighted, try to do what is best for you. 

As a child, you might not have actually preferred to brush your teeth or use your mittens, but these are things that should be done. As an adult, you need to determine the goals that help define who you are and the direction you want to take in life. Then, you will discover the actions that you should take and the actions that are best for you.

 

Idea 3

The wrong buddies can drag you down, so choose your buddies sensibly.

Among the author's youth friends never left the grassy fields of his northern Canadian hometown, Fairview, Alberta. Rather, he stayed and wound up among the town's other ne'er-do-wells.

Every once in a while, the author would return home and catch up with his buddy-- and each time, his buddy's slow, unfortunate decline became more apparent. What was once youthful potential ended up being aging bitterness?

For the author, it ended up being clear that those ne'er-do-wells were bringing his pal down and holding him back in life. And this is something that can happen to anybody anywhere.

In a workplace setting, a similar dynamic can play out when an underachiever is taken into a team of high performers. The manager may think that this will result in the problematic worker getting good routines from others. But studies have actually revealed that the opposite is more likely to occur, and the bad routines will start to spread and bring down everybody's performance.

This is why the 3rd rule is to make certain you surround yourself with helpful pals, as these are the type of friendships that can bring about favorable modification.

Being choosy about your pals is a clever move and is not selfish or snobby. Helpful and encouraging relationships run both ways: when you require a boost, they'll be there for you, and if your friend needs aid to rebound from a setback or make an enhancement, you'll be there for them.

This dynamic can encourage individual success and, as part of a team, it can result in excellent social accomplishments.

When the author left Fairview for college, he joined a group of like-minded individuals who assisted each other in their studies and in many other achievements, such as producing a newspaper and running a successful trainee union.

You'll know you have good friends when they don't endure your indulging negativity; they'll want what's best for you, so they'll encourage you to snap out of it and return on track.

 

Idea 4

Progress is made by contrasting yourself to your previous achievements, not to others.

There used to be such a thing as being a big fish in a small pond. However now, thanks to the web, even the concept of a little community is a distant memory. Nowadays, we're all part of a worldwide community, and no matter where you are, there is constantly someone better than you.

This brings us to the concern of self-criticism. Now, it is necessary to be nit-picking of one's self-- if we weren't then we'd have nothing to pursue, no inspiration to better ourselves, and our lives would quickly end up being meaningless.

Fortunately, it's a human tendency to always see today as lacking and the future as appealing far better. There's a factor for this propensity, as it helps us stay motivated to press forward and take action.

However, self-criticism can get unsightly when it becomes all about comparing ourselves to others. When this happens, we quickly forget our development.

First of all, this leads to thinking in black-and-white terms: we've either prospered or flopped. This prevents us from seeing the incremental improvements that are often small, but still essential.

Comparisons also lead to forgetting the big picture by concentrating on a single aspect of our lives and blowing it out of proportion.

For example, let's say you're examining the previous year and notice that you weren't as efficient at work as some of your peers. You can quickly wind up feeling like an overall failure. But if you were to zoom out and look at all the facets of your life, you might discover that you made some real improvements in your family life.

This is why the fourth guideline is to never compare yourself to others and to constantly judge yourself against your own previous accomplishments.

Comparing present outcomes to previous ones will likewise keep you moving forward. If you begin to think that you're constantly winning, this is a warning that you need to do a better job of taking risks and giving yourself challenging goals.

When checking in on your progress, think of yourself as a home inspector. This implies looking at things from top to bottom and categorizing every problem. Is it a cosmetic or a structural fault? Before you can give a validation, make a list of things that need to be enhanced.

This in-depth strategy is likely to keep you so hectic with yourself that you'll be unconcerned with how you compare to others.

 

Idea 5

It is a parent's responsibility to raise a responsible and kind kid.

If you've ever seen parents overlooking a child who's creating chaos, you may have questioned: are they just bad parents or are they being creative by allowing the kid to tire himself out?

Methods to child-rearing have actually changed over the years, often as a result of the age-old nature-versus-nurture debate, and differing viewpoints about the type of instincts we're born with.

In the eighteenth century, there was a common belief promoted by the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau that suggested our prehistoric forefathers were sweet, gentle, and childish. They blamed our history of war and violence on the corrupting impact civilization has had on us.

However, nowadays, we have a clearer understanding of the truth that individuals are indeed born with aggressive instincts, and need to discover how to end up being kinder, gentler, and more "civilized" grownups. After all, you likely remember how vicious kids on a playground can get; most offices are a photo of serenity in comparison!

According to the author, it's actually up to parents to ensure their naturally aggressive youngster learns how to be a well-adjusted adult, which brings us to the 5th guideline: moms and dads require to be more than a friend-- they require to raise a responsible and pleasant person.

This can be an obstacle considering that no one likes being the "bad guy." But children are aggressive due to the fact that they have the natural instinct to push barriers so they can discover where society's lines are drawn. So a mom and dad need to be firm and decisive in drawing those lines.

While this might not seem like fun, consider it in this manner: if they do not learn these things from a caring, understanding parent, they'll learn them in the future in a manner that's sure to involve less affection and understanding.

So let's take a look at 3 essential techniques for good parenting:

The first is to limit the guidelines. Excessive guidelines produce irritated kids who are continuously crashing into barriers. So restrict things to a few standard, easy-to-understand principles, such as don't bite, kick or hit anyone unless in self-defense.

The 2nd is to use the minimum needed force. Reliable and fair discipline can only be used when consequences are made clear. The penalty likewise requires to "fit the wrongdoing," which means it needs to only be as extreme as necessary for a child to learn not to break the guideline again. Often a dissatisfied appearance is all that's required; other times it may be a week without computer games.

The third is to come in sets. Children are clever and will try to get their way by playing one parent against the other-- so a combined front is essential. Also, every parent makes errors, however, if you have a supportive partner, you'll be likelier to see and catch those mistakes.

Idea 6

The world is filled with injustices, however, we must not blame others for our lot in life.

There's no point in mincing words: the world has plenty of obstacles and suffering-- however this isn't a cause for despair.

Nonetheless, many individuals throughout the ages have actually seen life as so terrible and unjust that extreme actions are warranted. The Russian author Leo Tolstoy saw existence as so ridiculously unjust that he theorized there were only 4 legitimate reactions: childlike ignorance, hedonistic pleasure, suicide, or struggling on despite it all.

Tolstoy examined these positions in his essay "A Confession" and concluded that the most sincere reaction was suicide while struggling was an indication of his weak inability to take the appropriate action.

Others have actually reacted in a comparable fashion, yet decided to take other lives along with their own, in acts called murder-suicides, such as the Sandy Hook or Columbine school shootings. In June of 2016, there had been a thousand shootings in the United States over the preceding 1,260 days, in which someone had indeed eliminated 4 or more people before, in a lot of cases, shooting themselves.

But regardless of Tolstoy's bleak worldview, and no matter how much you have actually suffered or however vicious and unjust you find life to be, you should not blame the world.

This is the gist of the 6th guideline for life, which specifies that you need to take responsibility for your own life before you judge the world.

There's another Russian writer, by the name of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, who believed it was possible to turn down the cruelty of life, even when it's being terrible to you.

Solzhenitsyn was amongst the communists who fought against the Nazis during The Second World War, yet regardless of his service, he wound up locked up by his own state after the war. And as if living in a Russian gulag wasn't bad enough, he discovered he had cancer while serving his sentence.

But in spite of all this, Solzhenitsyn didn't blame the world for his lot in life. He accepted his function in supporting the Communist Party that had actually imprisoned him and took it upon himself to use the time he had left to contribute something great and significant to the world.

What he did included writing the book, The Gulag Archipelago, which provided a history, as well as a damning indictment, of the Soviet camps he'd experienced firsthand. The book played a crucial role in extinguishing any lingering assistance that Stalin's brand of communism had among intellectual circles worldwide.